Sunday, November 25, 2012

Social University = That Few Thought Of Wanting To Graduate Well

Ah, so the PSLE results are out now.  It was from a blog that I knew of it.  I'm >20 years from PSLE and it seemed 1 lightyear from me now, and most definitely don't understand the drama over it. 

But I do remember how my mom hoped that I do well enough to go into Jurong Secondary School, since I'm not as academically inclined as my siblings.  I did, and the rest was history.

As I grow up and look back, I realised there are so many values that wasn't taught in my family = me and my siblings aren't equipped with the mindsets that is so needed to roam this earth, find a niche for ourselves that we can bloom happily.

Or at least, not mauled to death by the assorted people who eat fellow human beings up for tea/supper.

Granted that my folks don't do well in their own jobs enough + happy in their lives, one can't expect a pauper to give enough to a fellow one to survive.  This sounds horrible on my part, to say of such of my folks, but this is a truth, and truths are often ugly.

I'm no better looking in many ways, to be fair.

And with the so many EQ and AQ classes going on with prices at multiples of the average Joes' salaries, I wonder how much these crash courses sink into the DNA of the participants.  'Cos life experience cannot be condensed in a few days of courses, it has to be taken out of that classroom, keep practising till everything sinks in and turn into ours.

Right now, at the relatively young age of 34 (going to 35 soon), I read Facebook of friends who love to share some "life wisdom" for better or worse, to encourage or to look smart, I don't know.

What I do know is, some of these pearlies of "wisdom" are very laughable.  Naive, if one would like to sound more harsh.

And with God Daughter growing up so fast, so naughty and cheeky, I hope I'm a good God Mother enough to ease her into this real world where everyone dreams + hope it would be Disney-like at some point.  We really need to wake up.

Judge people

We human beings judge people + things all the time.  Else how do we choose which guy to marry?  Which job to take?  Which company to apply for?  We judge all the time, so we need to be truthful to ourselves to know what to do and for the world.

But as we judge people, we need to judge them fairly, and this is a big job to do.  Not everyone knows how to do it, and I'm still learning how to be 100% spot-on.

A clue that I've found - our perception to everything around dictates the result.  So if I see someone good + he/she turns out bad = it simply means that I should make friends with bad people lah!  Because they'd turn out good lor.

And despite those "bad people", give them enough human rights to be respected as humans.  As I always say, 90% of the human beings are not evil, they're just weird in different ways + magnitude.

Keep an open mind

Despite my view of judging people, it is elemental to have an open mind, towards everything and everyone on this earth.

We are not God, we won't be able to know everything or do everything well, there is always someone better than us in some ways or many ways.  Judge someone, but don't sentence them to death.  Well, for some, we need to sentence them away, but for most, there is no need to.

Just be mindful of those in the blacklist.  It may turn out ok, but it may not too.

Do your best

If you can't do your best for a certain thing + if you can't be sincere to a person = don't do it + don't friend that person.

To the human being, keep the relationship professional + nothing more.  If friendship do bloom down the road, then let it be.  It's a good sign.

Cultivate a hobby at least + don't turn it into a survival tool

We have multiple roles to serve in our lifes = subordinate, bosses, children, siblings, spouse, parents, friends.  And we need to have a job to pay our bills and buy our whims of fancy.

So Life is hard.

And because Life is hard, we need to have a hobby to take our minds off this hard Life - to derive joy, to make like-minded friends, to learn and discover, to be a child again.

A hobby is very important, it justifies our existence and validate our hardwork for others.  For most part of our lives, we are living for others.  A man to bring bread + bacon to the family table, a mother to her kids' wellbeing, an employee for the salary at month-end, a boss to keep the company going for his employees.....

So we need to have some time to live for ourselves = we need to have a hobby that we 100% enjoy + like.  Else at the end of our lives, we will look back + regret.

I've not come to that point yet, but I've heard + read enough, some just 2nd degree of friends/connection, that many regret not trying to live for themselves sometime at the end of their lives.

And don't ever think that you're good enough in your hobby to make it your career or job.  Many fall flat on their faces + broken limbs.  Reality + dreams hardly marry to a good ending, but it's good to try if you really want it.

Do your best + leave the rest to God.  If anything bad resulted, pick yourself up, it's not the end of the world.  If it turns out well, give yourself a small pat at the back + be absolutely thankful to God.

Be connected to God

God, I need to reiterate again, isn't religion.  It is spirituality.

It is between you and It (or Him/Her, if you'd like).

God is far more than written in the scriptures or Bible, It will send "nasty" things our way but actually is good some time down the road just for us to learn. 

God don't rule out anyone, It won't send us to our deaths.  We send ourselves to our deaths by our mindset + attitude towards everything in Life.  Many a times, we are tested for our strength + weaknesses + our faith in It.  Embrace these, they are gifts of valuable lessons to be learnt.

If we believe in evil, that evil happens, then we must believe in the good, in God.  For if there is night, day is surely there too.  If there is man, there would be woman.

Everything in this world is equal and fair.

It is just if we know it.

Never settle

This was, if I don't remember wrongly, a company motto back in my corporate drone days.  A few years down now, I think it is right.

If we're too settled, our mind would start to mould, we will become complacent, we start to build that invisible comfort zone.  Someone told me recently, 一个人好太久,就会变成鬼。She meant that if one has it good for too long, one would turn bad.

However, having said that, it doesn't mean to be greedy + wrongly ambitious.

It means to keep improving our craft (job), hobby, relationships with people and God.  It means to take up another hobby, to go through the process of learning + discovery again.

It means to go back to a country we've holidayed before, to discover things that we didn't the last time.

It means to look at our spouse + kids with new lens of perspective, to uncover their personal growth (if there is) thru the years.

It means to relook at ourselves with deeper perspectives, of where we can be better personally so we live a happier life.

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The above are some key points I've learnt from all the bruises and broken limbs in the 34 years of my life.  There may be more to add on, I don't know, but I'll keep looking into myself for questions and pray to God more for answers and wisdom.

Om.  =)))

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