It was a bad day for me, to know the passing of a great teacher that I deeply admired and followed.
I cried silently in the coach, on the way to work. Other that that, I only cry in Asian war films.
There were times in office today that I had to stop what I was doing, put my head down and breath deeply a few times, refocus before I can go on.
My mood was sombre, office recepts all got it from me. The sales manager said good morning to me, and I only replied a "Mmm". I think she was taken aback.
I really appreciate KK for informing me of his demise, else I'd have never known.
南怀瑾 passed on on the 29th last month.
If I didn't remember wrongly, I said on the 30th in Bee's Den, to Bee, "Why do every noble sage have to suffer in their lives?"
南怀瑾 truly suffered alot (google on your own, please), yet selflessly share his learnings, patiently teaching anyone whom he can.
There are people who said he was harsh, ill-tempered and impatient. They are so so wrong.
I don't teach anyone I ruled out, no matter how they requested. No means no.
南怀瑾 would always teach no matter how he scolded his students, he won't reject every genuine request. I would reject if I feel the other party cannot absorb.
I'm a human, he's a saint.
During lunchtime, I went off hauling a pile of his books back to office, those that I'd made up my mind to buy later. And as my little bookshelf at home is falling apart from the weight of books, I decided to park the new ones in office.
When I read his newer books early this year (published last year), I know his time is near, but didn't know or predict how soon it'd be. 'Cos he started to share some intricate learnings of the practise.
When someone is nearing his/her time, they'd often do things they don't normally do.
When his《瑜伽师地论》was published, I hoped earnestly that he'd teach《解深密经》, but there is no more chance now.
I know he'd be back in future, like all enlightened Buddhas (yes, more than 1) and Bodhisattvas, as taught in the Buddhist scriptures.
And I made a wish to have my accumulated good karma turned to the good fortune to be his student when he decided to come back. Nevermind if I come back as the stupidest one among all and be scolded by him all day long.